Prime Minister John Howard - Australia’s top contender in the Verbal Gymnastics event - has been forced out of the team on the eve of the Games.

Commentators had rated Howard a gold medal chance for his abilities to talk drivel and rhetoric, but there have been concerns at weaknesses in dignity and statesmanship. These were confirmed when Howard was unable to say the word "sorry" and failed to qualify.

But according to one leading speech-pathologist, the public should be sympathetic to Howard's disability. Dr Alan Blather, founder of a support group for sufferers of Schadenfreude Syndrome, explained that the shape of a mouth varies greatly from person to person and can impact on their ability to pronounce words correctly.

"The word Sorry begins fairly easily. The sibilant S slides into the rounded vowel sound of the O, however then the tongue must quickly curl back to achieve a retroflexed R, and this is where the difficulty begins. The speaker is left struggling to control their oral coordination sufficiently to return to the stretched lip position of the terminating Y."

"A task the vast majority of Australians find simple causes this poor wretch great problems, and even physical pain," Blather said.

Dr Blather says there is a real danger that people with Schadenfreude Syndrome may become marginalised by society. "Australians need to get behind this minority group and offer our support so they don't suffer from further isolation. These people may be unfairly asked to live under the same rules, conditions and expectations of the majority who do not understand their background or their differences. These people deserve our respect and understanding."

Dr Blather intends to use Howard and fellow sufferer, Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher, as the symbolic figureheads for a huge Schadenfreude fundraiser involving the world's leading recording artists.

The first single, a reworked version of Elton John's 1986 hit "Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word", is due for a Christmas release.